Donna Matthews

Category: Live, Love, Learn

  • First Trip of the Year and it Has Started

    I arrived at the airport on time, checked my bag and made my way to the lounge. I had to go to the service desk for something and there he was, a young’ish man with a clipboard. For those of too young to remember clipboards are in lieu of digital means of data entry. A clipboard requires one to hand write the data they are collecting. Names, flight numbers etc. This task was obviously difficult for the young man as he hovered 2 inches above the clipboard and painstakingly navigated the paper and wrote the information down by hand.

    Ironically this reminded me of the look on students facing when first encountering a keyboard on a computer. They would look around at the many keys and were quickly overwhelmed. This reverse situation would have made me laugh but I had now been standing and waiting so long for him to complete his handwritten task that my left leg was going numb!

    I can only hope that all computer systems are functioning normally for the remainder of the trip.

  • I love my technology but…

    …my mother has always called me “gadget girl”, because I am constantly looking for the latest and greatest tech BUT sometimes it does let me down. I’m sure you have all experienced this numerous times and it makes you feel frustrated. When this happens to me I try to remember what it was like before mobile phones, tablets, and the Internet. This usually works however this time it did not.

    I live in the UK but was born in the US and I do follow baseball when my team makes it to the postseason. I have every sports package on the planet because I love most sports. Yesterday was game one of the baseball World Series and the first pitch was scheduled for well after midnight. Gadget Girl made sure the recording was set up (checked twice) because I hate it if I record the non-HD channel by mistake. I went to bed safe in the knowledge that the game would be recorded and ready for me to watch in the morning.

    I grew up a Yankees fan but after the move to Texas and the Rangers joining the league I slowly switched to the local team. This is the Ranger’s first trip to the World Series since 2011 so it is a big deal.

    I woke up thing morning armed myself with a cup of coffee and settled in front of the telly. The game was back and forth after the Ranger’s early lead. The Diamond Backs rallied and took the lead. Late in the game the Ranger’s tied the score and forced the game into extra innings. It is now crunch time, bottom of the 10th inning with the score still tied. It breaks to the 4,000th commercial of the game and STOPS! I am sitting there with my mouth open, staring at the frozen telly. No, I could not think about what it was like before you could record games or what life was like before self driving vacuum cleaners!

    I started this blog with the fact the I love technology BUT sometimes it can drive you absolutely nuts. We are in 2023, men have walked on the moon, there is an active space programme to take a crew to Mars, AI that is so good you don’t know it isn’t real. So why can’t TV providers figure out a way to put a buffer at the end of games!! I had to grab my iPad and look up the score, all the while not taking a single breath. Through squinted eyes I saw the final score and let out that breath. We won in the 11th inning. Which was great news but it would have been nice to see it.

    Here is a recommendation to broadcasters, why don’t you put some of the pre-match build up time to post match summary to avoid this happening? I know that there will always be games that go to multiple inning or extra time but surely in this day and age we should be able to solve this problem!

  • A Preview of my Later Years

    This weekend a had an opportunity to spend a couple of days with my mom prior to the start of my conference. My mom lives in an apartment complex for over 50’s. I had a glimpse of what is in store for me in the future. Everyone has their own apartment and is totally independent, however the older end of the age spectrum have their own very close community with daily and weekly activities. My niece happened to be in town so she twas able to share part of this experience with me.

    Daily events start with morning (well sometimes afternoon) announcements. The office staff are not the most organised which means these announcements don’t actually occur at a specific time. I think this keeps the residents on their toes. Also, the content seems to vary, there is no structure to them and in my opinion sometimes not even a point. In one recent announcement after giving an update on pest control the announcer randomly said, “…and I am sterile because God wanted it this way.” That got the rumour mill buzzing!

    Megan (my niece) and I got a chance to go to Bingo and Coffee Club. To say this was an experience is a huge understatement. Bingo is Monday and Thursday’s at 2:00. Coffee Club is at 3:00 daily. At 1:30 one of my mom’s inner circle called to say he was off up to the dining room (aka Bingo Hall) to get everyone’s cards. Apparently one must send an advance party to ensure you get the “good” cards and are not stuck with the dreaded green cards. Since each of the inner circle play 6 cards at a time the advance party is required. Oh, also to ensure the preferred table is secured.

    We arrive just as the group is assembling and my mom and her friends start to give us a run down of who’s who. “Don’t talk to her”, (hand up to cover the finger pointing in the direction of “her”), because she is crazy. She thinks she is a spy.” Okay, Megan and I both make a mental note about “her”. Then the Bingo caller makes her way to the front of the room and takes her place behind the Bingo ball machine.

    Megan and I are given two of the dreaded green cards to play. My mom says “if you win you will need to give the card to one of us to shout “Bingo” because the “oldies” might be upset that an outsider won.” I asked what we were playing for. Mom said it appeared to be “crappy” prizes supplied by the apartment management. On days like today you might be the lucky winner of a can of asparagus or a roll of toilet paper. Other days are sponsored by insurance companies, health care companies or sometimes a local community group. Those are the good prizes.

    The machine rumbles to life and we are off. The caller calls the first number. “B17” croaks out and kicks off a wave of people repeating for those who did not hear the first time. Then someone says to their neighbour “B16” which gets reactions from those who heard correctly “no it was B17”. Confusion reigns until an appeal is made to the caller, who has been oblivious to the dispute because she can’t hear either! Once the debate is settled we move on. By the time the first 3 numbers were called Megan and I understood how they could all play 6 cards. This was owing to glacial speed at which the game moved. Finally someone yelled “Bingo” which solicited groans from everyone else in the room. The card was taken for verification by caller and deemed good. Now the winner chose their prize, a paperback book, and it was game number two. Each number called was followed by the repeats from those who could hear. (Megan and I were in hysterics at the intensity of players.) Things heated up when we had a false “Bingo” the too be winner was too quick to call “Bingo” as they still needed one number. More groans and a few looks from the players and the card was returned. Megan is recording a video for her boyfriend because he did not believe her texts as she was giving him a play by play. The hour finally ended with one of our table winning the final prizes which consisted of a hand crocheted hot pad and pot holder as well as a fleece blanket.

    Coffee Club stared with a gentleman giving an update on one of the club members who was in the hospital. He explained that visiting hours were from 9:30-11:00. Someone said “8:30-11:00?“ Someone else said “no 9:00-11:30”. This went on for about five minutes with every time under the sun suggested until Megan finally settled the debate by loudly repeating the correct times for all to hear.

    It was an eye opening two hours and my mom said “you may not think it now but someday this will be you.” I know she is right and we shouldn’t laugh but it was very funny to watch.

  • Back to Normal Life

    Well a week post hospital discharge I had my first full night’s sleep. It is amazing how quickly we become institutionalised. For the last week I have been waking up every few hours, even though there was on one standing beside my bed waiting to do my observations. No squeeze of the blood pressure cuff or medication being offered, yet I still kept waking up. I have never been a breakfast person but each morning at 07:00 my stomach was telling me the breakfast trolley would soon arrive. After the first day, rookie mistake, of ordering toast (I still can’t figure out how you can make toast rubbery), I would be sitting up ready to ask for porridge and coffee. The coffee (unlike the rubbery toast) was very good. The next big event on the schedule was ordering lunch and dinner. I made a few choices that ended up in the “I don’t think I will have that again” category but soon learned what the safe choices were.

    Other than meals arriving and obs being taken, the day was interspersed with the tea trolley, pre-lunch and pre-dinner soup offerings. There was the newspaper delivery (your choice of the Daily Mirror or the Financial Times), if you were lucky the book and magazine team would appear. I found myself looking forward to each and every event even if it was just say “yes please I would love a cup of tea” or “no thank you I would not like carrot soup or anything else carrot for hat matter)”. (Carrot cake being the only exception to the list of all things carrot).

    What I haven’t mentioned were the daily rounds made by the medical team and the occasional visit from the cardio team. These particular events in the day were the most unpredictable so you couldn’t set your watch by them but they were always interesting. On day 4 I got a visit from one of the doctors that saw me when I was in A&E. He popped his head around and said “Hi, I’n not sure you remember me but I saw you on your first day.” I did indeed remember him because he brought 3 students with him that day. He went on to say, “I have a favour to ask, could I bring in a group of 4th year medical students to practice taking a patient history?” Eager for additional activity in my regimented schedule I agreed. I had quite a bit of fun with them and made them work to get my information. Then I provided input where I felt they should have asked more questions or dug for more details. This of made the doctor laugh as said “Since Donna has already taken care of my feedback section, we can move on.”

    The “new normal” takes hold so quickly and in a way you don’t even notice. Once out of the hospital you think that settling back in to your “normal” life will happen seamlessly but it really doesn’t. You feel a bit at sea for several days and it can be disconcerting. I can’t imagine what it is like for people who have to spend weeks or months in hospital or any other institution. Hopefully this is my last prolonged hospital stay for a very long time.

  • Upper Class Travel Linked to Intestinal Gas

    If you don’t do a lot of Business travel you are probably thinking how can First and Business Class have any downsides when compared to Economy Class. I think I have mentioned in the past that one unpleasantness when traveling long haul is the odour from  flatulent co-travellers. 

    I now believe I have enough data to draw a scientific link between upper class travel and excessive amounts of intestinal gas. The cause of this is modern cabin design. You may be asking what is my proof? Well, after experiencing numerous (too many to count or remember) Economy Class trips and comparing that to the multiple Upper Class trips over a 21 year period I think I have a good data set to work with. 

    Here is my hypothesis: when travelling long haul in an upper class cabin travellers have room to stretch out enough to sleep. 21 years ago upper class travel was more specious but you were mainly sitting in a reclined position with extra leg room. However, with the modern design of upper class cabins, which allows you to lay fully in the prone position, people are much more comfortable and can actually fall deeply asleep. This combined with the pressure in the aircraft creates excessive amounts of intestinal gas.  

    The difference in Economy Class is that you spend the flight with your knees wrapped around your ears trying to drown out the sound of the wailing toddlers and grumpy pre-teens “who are bored and didn’t want to go on this dumb trip in the first place.” So, getting yourself in a position physically or emotionally for sleep is damned impossible! Hence intestinal wind stays put.

    Whereas; if you are in upper class and are the type of person who likes to read or watch movies before attempting sleep you will no doubt be subjected to wafts of odorous fumes from sleeping passengers. 

    Conclusion, foul bodily odours are more pervasive in upper class cabins lending a smelly musk to the entire experience.

  • How Do You Lose One Shoe?

    Have you ever wondered how people tend to lose just a single shoe? We can’t blame the washing machine or dryer in this instance like you can for socks. On our recent trip to Rhodes, Greece Pam and I saw a plethora of single shoes, these lost (soles) seemed to be everywhere but were missing their (sole mates). Okay I promise that was the last pun. But seriously how does this happen? A single flip flop might be explained by someone losing one in the water. A lost tennis shoe is puzzling but the best one of all was a lost hiking boot. Yes we saw one hiking boot with no laces. You could accidentally lose a tennis shoe out of your beach bag but if you were hiking how did you get home? Where did your laces disappear to and where are you now, wondering around wearing one hiking boot? Very strange indeed.

  • 1st Class Surprise

    I am travelling to India tonight for work, upon arriving to the airport I find out that I had been upgraded to First Class. In all of my years of traveling I have only flown First Class once and it was a short domestic flight which just meant bigger seats. Never have I enjoyed First Class on a long haul flight so after what can only be described as a tremulous few weeks I welcomed the the upgrade with all of the joy of a kid at Christmas who just got the one gift they were sure Santa would say was one step too far. 
    I was checked in at the extra special secluded check in desks which led on to the new extra special Security checkpoint. I was then advised by a hush toned lady that I could proceed to the First Class lounge and yet another surprise, my upgrade included a lounge upgrade to the distinguished Concorde Room (which I never knew existed). It was a lovely, dimly lit area with fireplaces and cosy sitting areas. After a light dinner I boarded the plane. For the first time I got to turn left instead of right at the cabin door. I was escorted to my seat in “row 2” which was actually totally on its own with the nearest neighbours shielded from direct sight lines. 
    I was handed over from my seat escort to Paul the Cabin Manager who informed me I could have whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. It was lovely to hear but at that very moment the one thing I wanted more than anything else Paul could not provide, that was my lovely wife to share this experience with. 
    The Business Class services I have been fortunate enough to experience have very good so I could not imagine how much more could be done to enhance the journey. My area could only be d scribed as a mini room instead of the Business Class pod I had in the past. There was seating for two, in case I was expecting a visitor to drop by. I had my own wardrobe, was given pyjamas, a wash bag and noise cancelling headphones. Wow, I was impressed!
    It is now time to take off so I will finish my 18 year old whisky and enjoy my flight to the fullest because once I’m off the airplane I will be in the land of over stimulation. Never ending throngs of people,traffic, car horns, vibrant colours, incredible food and light very people. See you on the other side!

  • Lab Rat

    Today I felt as if I was part of a lab experiment conducted to test the human threshold for the number of meetings sustainable in one day, without totally losing one’s mind. We have all had days with marathon meetings or even back to back meetings that test the capacity and robustness of your bladder. Today took things to an all new, almost unnatural, level. My day started at 07:00 and my first meeting at 08:00 just like every day however today once finished with the normal 3 meetings on the trot routine there was no break, then before I knew it 1:00 came and went with me still in meetings. By this time I was beginning to wonder if going to the loo while on mute was even remotely acceptable or professional. By 1:20 with an afternoon of more meetings ahead a miracle happened and my meeting ended 10 minutes early. My bladder was overjoyed! I even had time to get to the canteen for coffee before the afternoon barrage started. Mercifully my last meeting ended at 6:30. I’m not sure if I passed the endurance tests because by this stage I was babbling incoherently!

  • One has to ask the question why

    This week I have had a new experience and one I do not wish to ever repeat. As humans we have evolved over millennia yet we still have a couple anatomical oddities, one the appendix, two the gallbladder. It is the latter that I had an unwelcome experience with. One has to ask why do we still have this organ that we can function normally without. Yes, it has a job to do but the liver is pretty good at holding its own, in the bile production stakes, considering we no longer have a need to digest such things as roots and bark. Yet the gallbladder remains and for many of us becomes an evil enemy causing literal gut wrenching agony. It is mostly due to these little stones made up of cholesterol and other biological goodies, that decide they fancy a vacation to another part of the body. So they pack their bags are hit the road. Their first stop is the bile duct and for some of our bulkier tourists this is a very tight squeeze. So tight in fact that it creates, for the owner of the gallbladder, excruciating pain that lasts over several days. Finally, when the human owner is ready to perform self surgery, using a steak knife and a hand held mini vac, the little bastards squeeze through and are gone on their merry way. The relief is tremendous, you come out of this pain filled fog back into the sunlight. Then it hits you, what if the remaining gallstone population decide to move on. The thought sends tendrils of dread through me. I can honestly say that never before have I wanted someone to cut me open and rummage around in my abdomen but the thought of those little bastards coming back makes it sound like a reasonable idea.

  • My New Most Embarrassing Moment

    As it is a new year, new beginnings and all that I thought it was time to share my new most embarrassing moment. It has taken me the best part of two months to get up the courage to share this with you. Here goes…in late November I started a new job and on my first day with the company I had to go into London to the Head office before going off to the client site where I was to be based. So, you know how awkward first days can be, it feels like you are the new kid in class. It is one of those things you just want to get through. Well picture this, I arrive on time all ready to go and I am told I will be meeting with the Operations Manager to get all the paperwork etc. in order. After a few minutes this very nice lady comes to get me and we go into a glass walled meeting room, not quite a fish bowl but close from the middle of the wall to the floor the glass was frosted.

    We get started going through the various bits of paperwork as she is explaining things to me I get this sinking feeling. Not emotionally, I mean sinking as if I seem to be shrinking away from the table. I start to think “what is going on, am I having some strange panic attack? No, that can’t be it because I’m not nervous in the least. What the Hell can this be?” The whole time this is going through my head I am continuing to feel like I’m getting smaller. Then all of a sudden bam! I’m falling backwards, but not far off the ground, now I’m somersaulting backwards onto the floor!! I am mortified. The poor Operations Manager jumps out of her chair to help me up looking panicked now herself. Asking if I’m okay. I was fine physically but unbelievably embarrassed and still unsure of what happened. When I unceremoniously got back to my feet, I looked at the chair that only moments ago was fine but now is flattened to the floor. It was kind of an S design that obviously my ass was too much for! Then I remember feeling this flood of relief as I realised the frosted glass had saved me from office wide humiliation. I have since learned that particular chair had been sidelined and bound for the bin that coming weekend. (I still think I just squashed the poor thing.) There you have it, my new most embarrassing moment.